Jan 20, 2009

Back to life...back to reality

Coming home from my trip I was quickly immersed in life again. My almost teenager is now a full blown teenager. Princess and Sugarbear missed me so much I could see it in their eyes when they ran to hug me for the first time in a week.

I had a birthday party to assemble and a weeks worth of daily stuff to work through. I was running on a couple hours of sleep and trying to make everything perfect but when it was all said and done I wasn't even close. If Mindy had been here it would have been. She was great at planning parties for the kids, and taking care of all the nurturing. The icing on the cake (ba-dum-bum-ching) was last night when my little Princess fell while getting out of the bath. She hit her head hard on the floor and cried for a while. Then she couldn't find her "blankie" so after a thorough search I gave up and gave her one of Mindy's.

I guess leaving for the week recharged my batteries, but at the same time the daily work that drains them doesn't stop. I just wonder if when they look back on this some day will my kids think I was doing good to recharge myself and better provide for them? Or would they just remember the week Dad left them? I know it would be so selfish, but if I could find a way to make the rapture happen today...it would be done. I don't want to leave any loved ones behind, but I miss my old life so much. I want my wife back. Even with all the hurt we caused each other in the last decade...it would be worth doing it all over again. To live is Christ, to die is gain!

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