Jan 7, 2009

It's a brand new year...

This year will be filled with a lot of 'firsts'. My almost teenager will become a teenager very shortly. And as a widower parent I am anxiously nervous about all the 'firsts' that will come with that. She will have her first birthday party without her mother. It was our first New Year's Eve without Mindy and it was hard.

In the past Sugarbear and the Princess would fall asleep around 9:30p or 10p despite their efforts to see the ball drop in Times Square. So Mindy, my almost teenager and I would stay up late watching movies and eating junk food. And Mindy and I were always the only ones to make it to the New Year that night, some times by only 15 minutes or so.

This year my almost teenager called it quits at 10p, and her siblings made it past 11p. I didn't tell her at the time (and she isn't aware of this blog) but my heart sank when she bowed out for the night. Until then it was at least somewhat like the New Year's Eves of the past. But in an instant it was all different. Not because of anything she did...but because it was all surreal until that moment. Then reality hit and I had to work extra hard to put on the fun daddy front for my kiddos. After they were all well asleep I found myself laying in the dark, wondering what would this year offer me. I wondered, if God only gives you what you can handle, how much can I handle? Only God knows I suppose.

Well, this time of year everyone makes resolutions and intends to turn a new leaf in life. Another first for me is that I made resolutions that I feel I must resolve to complete in my life...not just this new year of 2009. So in a tangled web of new traditions, old traditions, and chosen memories of our former life my kids and I leap into 2009 with faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these I share with you and yours. Happy New Year!

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